Can you imagine that defence for other crimes
You’re honour my client should be released because he was only a bank robber for 2 minutes while in the bank. And as for being a conspirator he didn’t do much talking.
Your honour my client was only a “rapist” while attacking Miss Sonso and that only lasted 5 minutes. Prior to that he was merely a pedestrian as he followed her. An innocent citizen
Unfortunately that defense did seem to work out fine for rapist Brock Allen Turner.
Only a little light treason.
So, that’s a guilty plea?
“Your honor, my client only raped her for 3 minutes.”
“Your honor, my client was only murdering him for 4 minutes.”
“Your honor, my client was only driving under the influence for 10 minutes.”
“Your honor, my client only robbed the bank of $4000.”
I mean, that logic got Brock Allen Turner, the rapist who now goes by Allen Turner, off the hook. I guess it’s worth a shot.
You mean Brock Turner the rapist who now goes by Allen Turner the rapist? That Brock Turner the rapist?
Well HE doesn’t go by Brock Turner the rapist. He certainly wishes we’d stop calling him Brock Turner the rapist. But we’ll never stop calling him Brock Turner the rapist, because Brock Turner the rapist is a rapist.
If we had to stop calling him something, we’d stop calling him Brock Turner before we stopped calling him the rapist.
Because Brock Turner the rapist deserves to be remembered as a rapist, and nothing more
Derek Chauvin would also like a word.
Yeah? Well George Floyd would like to breathe.
“I only murdered for a minute, tops!”
So going forward, I should keep my crimes under half an hour and it’s fine. Good to know.
Keep it under 27 minutes just to be on the safe side
You’re going to have to make gif noises and pretend.
Well that’s all right then!
Here ya go:
Light treason
There’s a good chance
NO TOUCHING!
