Reports published late Monday evening describe how the pathogen rapidly colonises the bumbum hole and the weewee tubes causing the victim to lose bowel and bladder control.

Early developments show photos and videos of Hezbollah fighters literally shidding and pissing and it’s totally true.

Peepee-poopooitis is not known to be fatal, however it can cause extreme dehydration and cope. Especially virulent forms can result in terminal shitposteroma, a dangerous type of cancer that affects the posting glands.