• Neato@ttrpg.network
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    5 months ago

    The number of people either too dense or too willfully misogynistic to understand what this is about is depressing.

    If you’re arguing bear statistics or saying “not all men” or decrying misandry, then you’ve totally missed the point. If you are doing it intentionally, you’re the type of men women would choose the bear over.

    The fact that anyone would choose a dangerous animal over a random man is an indictment against the culture surrounding male privilege and should spark introspection and change. Arguments against this is just ignoring women and solidifies the decision that the bear is better.

      • Neato@ttrpg.network
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        5 months ago

        Men having to listen to women and be confronted with reality and the harms their gender and society are actively causing is NOT pitting people against each other. Women don’t want to fight and ostracize men. They want to be safe FROM men.

        If you see this discussion and feel defensive, that’s your brain trying to tell you something’s wrong and you should probably analyze why you feel like you are being attacked.

    • Striker@lemmy.worldOP
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      5 months ago

      Honestly, no matter what side of the debate you are on its still dystopian to think that women would actually think to go to a bear over a random man when faced with the choice.

      I am being introspective about this though. We created a culture of fear. A lot of it is through the consequences of rape culture and I think a large part is through an unhealthy about of true crime that’s being made. Constantly blasting worse case scenarios into people’s heads. I dunno, I just despise how we all just accepted not to trust one another and it seems like we’ve all just accepted that this to way to be about it. I just see it as a example of the alienation being pushed by capitalism.

      It’s makes me a little mad tbh. Being perfectly honest it should make everyone mad. Like tbh I still think going with a random guy is the correct answer to this but we all should come together, look at this whole situation and realise the dystopian implications of this.

      • Pronell@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        Yes! Thank you!

        Does it hurt that women feel that way? Of course it does, so let’s work to be better so that random people can trust each other!

        Angrily lashing out at the women who are pondering the benefits of a bear isn’t gonna help.

        Be someone a woman would feel safe to be around. Call it out when those around you fail that test.

        Create that safer environment. It isn’t impossible.

        • Tiefling IRL@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          5 months ago

          Be someone a woman would feel safe to be around. Call it out when those around you fail that test.

          Create that safer environment. It isn’t impossible.

          Thank you for demonstrating healthy masculinity. The rest of this thread is a trainwreck of victim blaming.

      • ChocoboRocket@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        I totally understand why women would pick bear, as bear society doesn’t bend over backwards to victimize women.

        Most power structures cater to the people who abuse power. Police, church, courts, military, etc all tend to go crazy easy on men who abuse women.

        Republicans want to take away women’s rights/independence, limit/eliminate divorce, force birth for rape/incest. Police who assault women are protected and don’t face consequences, and most religions literally view women as a subspecies that serve men.

        Maybe the average man is totally normal and helpful, but the history of violence between men and women is like 98% men killing women with heaps of Rape, confinement, physical/mental abuse etc.

        The worst any Bear could do is kill someone in 1-2 minutes, maybe longer.

        It’s also an incredibly loaded situation in that being alone in the woods with a bear is “natural” and being alone in the woods with a strange man already sounds like a horror movie plot/murder news story.

        There’s also the constant “stranger danger” fear women will pretty much always experience because men can consistently and easily overpower most women. All women I have met seem to know at least one or more women who have been sexually assaulted, had their drink spiked etc, so it’s not some obsession with crime shows or scary movies driving this fear. It’s actual rapists prevalent in society and emboldened enough by lack of consequences to act.

        Even in cases where it seems obvious Rape happened, it’s a brutal gauntlet of gas lighting, victim blaming, “can’t ruin their life for a mistake”, etc that stop a huge amount of reporting and convictions.

        Going back to the question itself, answer ratios would probably change depending on the area, would women be less inclined to pick bear if they were in a library instead of the woods because it’s unnatural for a bear to be in that environment?

        People need to relax, and focus on the real story. Women have an incredibly long and valid list of reasons to be afraid of men and society needs to do better to make women feel safe

        • cannibalkitteh@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          5 months ago

          Ultimately, bear is the less complicated decision, not entirely because it is without danger, but because it is not subject to gaslighting. Most people understand that a bear attack is bad and won’t raise concerns about how you led the bear on or that what you were wearing was to blame.

  • Contramuffin@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    The question is designed to be as divisive as possible. It categorizes large swathes of people into just 2 groups - man or bear. The man group contains mansplainers, but it also contains regular people who simply view humanity as naturally altruistic. The bear group contains people with concerns about men overpowering women, but also contains people who earnestly believe that most if not all men will try to do it if given the chance.

    The problem is that people either are unable to or unwilling to acknowledge that these categories are not monolithic. And in claiming that all people in the man group are incels, you are inadvertently insulting everyone in that group. Likewise, in claiming that all people in the bear group are misandrists, you are inadvertently dismissing everyone in that group.

    It is not productive to make claims about people based only on their answer to the question. In fact, it appears to be entirely the intention of the question to divide even rational people by exploiting the general human inability to see subgroups within larger categories

    • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      I thought it was from the woman’s perspective. She doesn’t know if the man is an incel or a regular, well behaved person.

      The point is: do you roll the dice on the man, who could be anything, or the bear, who is a bear.

      • SPRUNT@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        The known potential bad is better than the unknown potential bad. At least a bear won’t rape you before/while killing you.

        IMO, the answer given exposes more about the life experiences of the women answerers, and the result seems to be that their experiences have been bad.

        • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          My only issue with that mentality is it completely ignores reality. I understand that most women have had a bad experience with a guy here or there. What they don’t seem to understand is that the types of guys that are doing these things are a small percentage of the population.

          The guys that are pulling this crap aren’t even gonna get offended by this whole “man or bear” thing in the first place. At the end of the day it just makes the rest of us feel even more dejected and apathetic about it all. Why should I champion for any woman when I’m going to be seen as a predator regardless?

            • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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              5 months ago

              That’s a fair assumption from what I said though that’s not how I meant it.

              I treat everyone equally regardless of what is or isn’t between their legs. I’m generally just that helpful guy that’s always offering help to people even if they don’t outright ask for it. I just try my best to make sure everything is going smoothly for everyone around me.

              But I bet not a single woman I’ve interacted with would ever remember me helping them. They’d never remember me going out of my way to make sure they felt safe and were having as good of a time as possible. But they’ll never forget that guy that made them uncomfortable. And that’s all they’ll think about. They’ll ignore every single man they interacted with. They’ll ignore all the men that didn’t do anything to them. The men that treated them like normal human beings.

              I’m not gonna change how I treat everyone. But it’s really fuckin annoying to constantly hear “all men” when I’m actively going out of my way to be as helpful as possible.

              Feels sisyphean.

              • AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world
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                5 months ago

                The only people I’ve seen saying “all men” are men who are butthurt that women calculate the risk of being in the woods with a bear as less risky. None of the women who are choosing the bear say that.