I get that, I’m just trying to understand the difference between /them and /it in that example. I feel like “them” is more generic than “it”, so I feel like “them” would be a better fit in a space where it’s nobody’s business, the same as in a professional setting.

Am I mistaken or missing something?

Question: I tend to use they/them both when I’m unsure of someone’s gender or pronouns, and when gender is irrelevant to a given conversation. Does that also feel like a misgender?

(Disclaimer: I might be biased, because I feel more like agender, which means I’m more comfortable not referencing gender at all)

Why “they/it” instead of also “they/them”?

I was under the impression that “they/them” were the already established pronouns when gender is irrelevant.

A more recent wording: the optimal strategy is to initially be kind, then tit-for-tat.

It’s been shown that the “venting out” coping strategies, only provide a temporary relief due to an adrenaline rush, while reinforcing the thoughts and revictimizing, which only get worse with repetition.

That sound like a regular hat, with a regular bee… hiding inside.

Ouch!

Last time SWIM used a patcher, it came with a malware dropper. Is that still how this “free” works?

Ty 😊

I’ve had people call it “strong” and even “overwhelming”, while to me it smelled like some weak dead grass. People smoking it, I barely register, unless they mix it with tobacco. Even freshly cut, it just smelled like cut grass, nothing more. CBD oil smells like grass sap.

Some as with truffles, and marihuana. I can’t smell either.

Impostor syndrome is feeling like you aren’t qualified for a post that you are.

The opposite, would be feeling like you are qualified for a post you are not.

What you describe, seems like over-competence, rather than either of those. Congrats 🎉

The problem with the expression “open minded”, is that it gets used as a way to bypass any scrutiny, by people who are scammers, believers with a mind so open that their brains fall out, or both (scammers who believe the scam). At this point, I’d rather avoid it.

From my experiences, there is nothing that some Occam’s razor can’t reduce to scientific explanations. Every time I managed to set up a scientifically sound test, they failed completely. I’ve encountered many scammers, believers, and scammer+believers claiming plenty of stuff they couldn’t even set a test for. One sentence I will never forget from a scammer+believer criticizing another one is: “they are too scientific” 🤦

Like, no, one can not be “too scientific”.

Sure, the scientific method is a “human tool”, but so far it’s the only tool humans have that can provide any useful information. Non-scientific data, is like isolated data points or clusters with no way to relate them to anything, no way to use them to predict something other than themselves, and basically useless.

So far, the only experiences I’ve encountered that don’t have any possible scientific explanation, are 2nd hand accounts from people without a scientific mindset. Since they didn’t run any data gathering at the time, and the experiences are not repeatable, they’re just isolated tales without any reference to anything real. Maybe they did happen, maybe they didn’t, maybe who knows what. Useless. (and it’s a pity, since they could’ve been really interesting if true)

Having experienced first-hand, and from my teens, stuff like NDE, OBE, Remote Viewing, Regressions (Past lives), a lot of hypnosis, trans-cranial magnetic stimulation, Religious Inspiration, Automatic writing, and having been directly or indirectly involved with UFOs, Psychophonies, Ouija, mixed Spiritism, Card reading, Magic rituals, Homeopathy, Pendulum Dowsing, Energy healing, Chakras, Hand imposition, Horoscopes, The Urantia Book, Hermes Trismegistus, Gaia… and a bunch more that I’m surely forgetting…

I can tell you that you shouldn’t be open minded about any of it.

I won’t call those years “lost”, but all I got out of them is some Lucid Dreaming, some really cool internal experiences (without any drugs), some fun going to places (nothing beats a spring in a lost nook of a mountain forest at dawn), an extremely developed imagination, the ability to fall asleep whenever I needed (that I lost due to extreme stress overload a couple years ago), a much better understanding of the human brain, and a shitton of skepticism.

I could write a lot about my experiences, but the bottom line would be: mental skills are fine, but science rulez. Or as said by the Dalai Lama: “When science contradicts religion, accept science” (much respect).

Those images are burnt into my mind and I would love to get rid of them but I don’t know how or if it is possible

I’m very sorry this happened to you, and I wish I could offer you some advice… but that’s the main reason I stopped hosting open community stuff many years ago. I thought I was hardened enough, but nope; between the spam, the “shock imagery” (NSFL gore, CSAM), the doxxing, and toxic users in general… even having some ads was far from making it all worthwhile. There is a reason why “the big ones” like Facebook or Google churn through 3rd world mods who can’t take it for more than a few months before getting burnt out.

I wish I could tell you that you’ll eventually forget what you’ve seen… but I still remember stuff from 30 years ago. Also don’t want to scare you, but it’s not limited to images… some “fanfiction” with text imagery is evil shit that I still can’t forget either.

Nowadays, you can find automated CSAM identification services, like the one run by Microsoft, so if you integrated that, you could err on the side of caution and block any image it marks as even suspicious. This may or may not work in your jurisdiction, with some requiring you to “preserve the proof” and submit it to authorities (plus different jurisdictions having different definitions of what is an what isn’t breaking the law, and laws against swamping them with false positives… so you basically can’t win). This will also do nothing for the NSFL or text based imagery.

A way to “shield yourself” from all of this as an admin, is to go to an encrypted platform where you can’t even see what’s getting posted, so you never run the risk of seeing that kind of content… but then you end up with zero moderation tools, pushing all the burden onto your users, so not suitable for a safe space.

Honestly, I don’t think there is an effective solution for this yet. It’s been a great time abusing the good will of the admins and mods staying on Beehaw, but if you can’t find a reasonable compromise… oh well.