I saw a pallet of candy corn at Meijer at the end of July. I bought a bag and it turned out to be the most fresh and delicious bag of candy corn I’ve ever eaten. Then I realized that all the stale candy corn I usually buy around October and am disappointed in is just super old because it sat around for 3 months before being eaten. So I’ve decided from now on, I will only enjoy candy corn during peak candy corn harvest in late July early August.
Up here in God’s country we don’t go to no dad-blamed, fancy nancy Meijer store for our candy corn. Hell, no! We drive our trucks to the top of the Devil’s Mountain of Screaming Insanity and Painful Death; then we hike fifty seven miles through the Unholy Swamp, cross the Bridge of Savage Disembowelment into the Forbidden Plains of Lugubrious Misery, and then, and only then, after proving our strength and manly worth, do we allow our Mommies to give us the candy corn THEY got at Meijer
People have been buying bags of candy since mid-August for October 31.
I saw a pallet of candy corn at Meijer at the end of July. I bought a bag and it turned out to be the most fresh and delicious bag of candy corn I’ve ever eaten. Then I realized that all the stale candy corn I usually buy around October and am disappointed in is just super old because it sat around for 3 months before being eaten. So I’ve decided from now on, I will only enjoy candy corn during peak candy corn harvest in late July early August.
You city boys make me sick!
Up here in God’s country we don’t go to no dad-blamed, fancy nancy Meijer store for our candy corn. Hell, no! We drive our trucks to the top of the Devil’s Mountain of Screaming Insanity and Painful Death; then we hike fifty seven miles through the Unholy Swamp, cross the Bridge of Savage Disembowelment into the Forbidden Plains of Lugubrious Misery, and then, and only then, after proving our strength and manly worth, do we allow our Mommies to give us the candy corn THEY got at Meijer
I enjoyed this immensely.
Yes, that comment totally deserves a “what the f did I just read” (but in a good way!)
I read it out loud twice, thanks
Thanks, I try
Lol, everyone knows candy corn is harvested in July. The stuff you buy in the fall is imported from Peru
…right.
Do I, perchance, detect the slightest whiff of…sarcasm?
That shit stale as fuck now.