In a quiet suburban neighborhood where minivans outnumber streetlights, a group of women have been ingeniously disguising their love of wine as a book club. While their intentions may be transparent to everyone else, these winos insist that their guise is a stroke of genius. “It’s a sophisticated literary club that explores classic as well contemporary novels, okay? We don’t have a wine problem. We can stop anytime we want!” said club president, Charlotte Chardonnay, as she poured herself another glass of Merlot. “We appreciate literature just as much as we appreciate a glass of wine filled to the brim. Why not combine the two?”
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Is day drinking slowly but surely becoming a problem? On tinder, wine seems to be the most important thing for most women i see. Or at least in the top 3. A lot of women have like 4 pictures and holding wine in three of them. A lot can not comprehend that i never drink at all.
If anything, it’s an unaddressed symptom of suburban life since long before either of us were born. My aunt, for instance, went full trad wife in the 90s and her schedule is mostly morning jog, wine, TV, wine, fight with her husband, wine, bed. Must be a bottle a day at least.
I heard in the 50s it was even worse with valium abuse but rather than call it a problem, I think symptom is more apt since life isn’t very rewarding or exciting when you’re trapped in suburbia and chained to your husband.
Hey at least in the fictional world of the onion, these women are drinking together and not alone.
I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. Alcoholics in denial skyrocketed during the pandemic, only with a cutesy veneer of “wine moms” and the like.