Lost a good friend on Nov 11th, I last talked to them on the Oct 27th.
I’ve spent about 2000 hours with this friend, over three years, so a new friendship, but a deep and recurring one. Lately our schedules have not meshed (Since about February), so I’ve only see them sporadically.
The first 12 hours were rough, I’m getting better now, but still misty eyed. Given the frequency of our activities there are many things that just remind me of their absence. There is the aspect of losing someone, and that sadness… but there is something more here, with a 2000 hour mental model of someone else’s behavior and reactions, the brain feels a little empty now that whenever anything triggers the ‘oh we did this’, ‘oh they would like this’… it gets short circuited by… and they are gone now.
I’ve lost people before, quite a few - sadly, but it never really had this level of impact. I suppose there is a proximity / frequency factor in the impact of a loss.
Rest in Peace - General.
We are all borrowed and thats how I live my life. I spend time with people I love so when the inevitable happens I know I spent as much time with them. At the end of the day thats all we can do, we cant see the future. Losing a good friend sucks even if the relationship was short. You just earned a guardian angel! Not everyone gets or deserves one! RIP General!