I have, more or less, lost all hope for my transition. I am the same place now as I was ten months ago. I don’t sound right, I don’t look right, I don’t feel right. Everyone else is moving on further and faster, and seems to be getting more results from less work.

I just want to go in to hiding and let everyone forget I exist.

can’t worry about old photos if you never let anyone take photos of you

hecc you, past me >:3

Yesterday was the first time in my life I came close to self-harm. I bought some bralettes and gaffs to, I don’t even know, try to look more feminine I guess? But I tried them on and I looked, for lack of a better description, breathtakingly revolting. So bad I think I must have disassociated for about fifteen minutes, no thoughts no emotions, just pulling them off me like live snakes. Then I had a breakdown.

I had to fight the urge all day yesterday and today to delete this account, and my matrix account, and discord, and any other account I could remember, fight the urge to isolate myself from everyone and everything so I would never have to be perceived by anyone ever again.

My point is that corporations cannot be victims because they’re not people, they’re a legal construct. They cannot be victims any more than a table can be a victim when I spill my drink over it. The term “victim”, whether intentional or not, is an emotive word that invokes ideas of injustice and suffering.

Marketing teams and corporate executives convinced people and legal systems that corporations are people in an attempt to engender sympathy, personification, and to avoid responsibility for their own failures, like the case in this article where managerial and procedural failures by those in charge led to the ability for this ex-employee to be able to do what he did.

It’s their own fault if they didn’t take the reasonable precautions that anyone should be aware of when going in to business for profit.

Yes I did.

It’s their own fault if they didn’t take the reasonable precautions that anyone should be aware of when going in to business for profit.

Notice how in my original comment I added “through improper security” and “improper practices”.

If you are running a business and get robbed without security cameras, insurance, and other reasonable protective and preventative methods, then you are at fault.

victim blaming

Can’t tell if this is sarcasm, but corporations are not people, they are soulless, for-profit enterprises that will, for damn sure, abuse and exploit any one and any thing they can in the name of profit. They don’t get the defense of “victim blaming”.

If they open themselves up to malicious actors through improper security, or lawsuits due to improper practices, then that’s their own fault.

Thank you for this, your support really helped.

How have other transfems come out or explore their femininity more openly when they don’t look remotely feminine? I’ve been on HRT for 7 months or so, and I just don’t look feminine. I look a little more feminine than I did, but still not enough to be even close to looking natural or comfortable in feminine expression. It just… doesn’t look right. And that makes me feel weird which makes it look even worse.

I don’t want to come out to people, telling them that I feel like a woman, when I look and sound like a man. And it’s starting to limit me in doing feminine things that I need to do to look more feminine so it’s circular, I’m too insecure to book a hair or nail appointment because I look like a man. I hate all of it.

It feels like my partner wants to be supportive because it’s the right thing to do, but at an instinctive level she is unhappy and resentful as she was raised in an exceptionally conservative, highly-religious, eastern european family.

Which results in saying the right things, but pulling back short of any real support with passive aggression, apathy, and feigned ignorance. I’m not sure whether I’d prefer that to completely unsupportive.

Not so great. 6 months HRT.

I don’t look good in any feminine clothing. I’m too insecure to practice voice or makeup around my partner. Because I don’t look remotely femme I’m too insecure to look for a hairdresser.

My partner keeps pressuring me because I don’t like enough traditionally cis woman things, or don’t like them as much as I should, or that I still like some things that are not necessarily targeted towards cis women, and its ruining my self-confidence. I need local transfem friends I can reach out to and hang out with and go shopping with but its not easy being older and non-US.

Once step forward, three steps back.

Maybe I’m just too impatient but I struggled a lot getting much benefit out of TransVoiceLessons

Zhea is clearly exceptionally talented and has a near unique understanding of voice, but like 90% of the videos on that channel are pure theory. Things like “hearing vocal resonance”, “the difference between weight and resonance”, “exercises are BAD”, motivation tips, Q&As, and road maps.

I’m left feeling “What do I actually DO???”

*drools on you cutely* tee hee :3