She has said long hair is too annoying, and that’s fine (I do have long hair and it doesn’t bother me but we can differ there). But, I think it’s more about how she looks. I’ve suggested the short hairstyles I would be OK with, but she’s not interested. I think because they’re the most feminine short styles I could find, which is what I am attracted to. I’m worried that she really wants to look masculine and that’s not what I’m attracted to.

I have tried to suggest all the short hairstyles that I like and then the ones I could probably tolerate, but apparently it has to be a buzz cut…

Well I actually told her her hair was looking good when she told me it was making her depressed and she was going to cut it again. It was probably around a long pixie cut. So, I don’t really see that as a compromise.

Gender euphoria is the opposite. It’s a good feeling when things feel right (seeing yourself look masculine as a trans man). I’m not saying that’s what it was, but it fits a little too well and makes me uncomfortable.

Hearing it like that hits me pretty hard. I’ve been struggling with the idea that she seems to feel the haircut is more important than the relationship… But then I feel hypocritical because I guess I’m doing a similar thing on the other side.

I obviously don’t have any entitlement to control her hair, but I am surprised she hasn’t been willing to compromise at all. I feel like most people are happy to adjust their look to suit their partners preferences, including myself.

That is interesting. I will look it up.

Having young children has definitely been stressful for both of us and it was probably the roughest patch when she first wanted to shave it. But, I thought things had been getting better, except for my current struggle with not wanting to look at her which has been slowly building over time.