there’s been a recent meme of responding to people making any remarks related to the ps5/ps5 pro by saying “notice how they’re X instead of playing games on the ps5”, with the implication that the ps5 has no games
e.g. notice how they’re arguing online about the ps5 instead of playing games on the ps5
it’s not a very serious bit (since obv people can do more than one thing) but it’s also funny because it’s purposely being obtuse about the situation
thanks for taking my words into consideration. i don’t think your post in isolation is really harmful, but it’s more of like, what sort of culture do we want to create? i’ve been online for a long time and in a decent number of trans spaces, so i’ve thought about it a lot, and it can be easy to slip into these sort of nefarious and unhealthy thought patterns
always easier to think about these things upfront, rather than trying to wrangle them when they’ve taken root and people have become accustomed to them
water in noita be like:
what a blast from the past
i know you already posted so this is kind of late, but i think it would be good to post why you’re asking people on the internet if you pass. i think any particular reason is fine; to just do it for validation, or to help you troubleshoot something in particular, if you’re gauging how safe you are, or actually just plain curiousity, whatever
but i also sort of worry about the effects it has on a community for people to be posting pictures and asking if they pass, at least without context. passing is already a rather subjective process, and there’s kind of an implied “passing = good” idea, which can be reinforced by these types of posts
it’s important to acknowledge that there are trans people (trans masc people too!) who either are unable to pass or don’t desire to pass
i think that adding the context of why you want other people’s opinion helps lessen the implicit idea of “passing = good”, which i believe generally leads to a more positive and welcoming space for all trans people (e.g. “i’d like to know if i pass as (gender) for the validation” highlights that this is addressing a specific feeling for you, rather than something general that everyone should desire)
also, i want to clarify that i do not think wanting to pass is a bad thing. it is completely fine for you, individual trans person, to want to pass and appear as your desired gender. what i oppose is the idea that, to be valid, one needs to pass
@cowboycrustation@lemmy.blahaj.zone tagging you because i think you run this place and i’d appreciate it if you gave my post some thought
ayyy nice, congrats. one thing i’m curious about is if you’ll feel some twinges of dysphoria about sitting to pee still, down the road. i’m in a similar boat to you, re: more dysphoric about the lack of penis than presence of vagina, but i had a bottom surgery consult and it made me wonder if i would regret not being able to stand to pee / ejaculate from my dick, etc
i don’t expect you’ll regret it, to be clear. just if, down the line, you’ll be like. well that would have been nice. or if you’ll just be totally unbothered by it
but for now, i hope you’re excited and cherishing your new dick! 🎉🎉🎉
uh… so, hims minoxidil looks fine. i’ve mostly used costco/kirkland brand (you can get this off amazon too). the bigger concern with minoxidil, imo, is price. shit’s expensive, so try to get the best deal you can, buy in bulk (it’s a long term thing anyways), just make sure it’s a 5% concentration.
anyways, i’ve been on minoxidil for probably 3 years (mostly facial application, too)… and i look my age, tbh i would look older if i didn’t minox my temples too lol (fwiw i’m in my 30s). i think minox is probably pretty safe to take re: aging effects, but everyone’s body is different, and you always take the risk of something weird happening when you consume Chemicals. i’d probably also consider it safer for topical use than rosemary oil, but i tend to be suspicious of those kinds of oils anyways
btw, it doesn’t really matter if you do oil or foam. i’ve done both, i tend to prefer oil because i feel like it’s easier to apply to specific areas. but the foam was… fine. most people seem to prefer foam more, from what i’ve seen. i don’t think it really matters
click into the source links for two panels :)
reminder that you shouldn’t buy teslas anyways bc their manufacturing quality is dogshit and they’ll blame you when shit breaks
highly recommend getting into weight lifting to help your body redistribute fat and develop muscle. make sure you’re eating enough too! (if you do this, do NOT go hard buying tightly fitted clothes, you WILL outgrow them and have to throw them out)
as for your hairline, if you want to keep your hair, you might be able to maintain it with minoxidil. it’s kind of difficult because it might just be masculinizing, instead of receding entirely. unfortunately, i’m not a good judge of the difference, either, but receding is normal and doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to go bald
minoxidil on your face can help the facial hair grow in too, if you want
otherwise, it sounds like your transition is coming along well! i’m happy for you and hope it continues
i was househunting for a while recently and i felt the same way about sending out viewing requests. i was wondering how many these people were getting from spam to begin with, and now ai generated. it didn’t help that the messages were nearly identical despite handwriting them all… i really should have just made a template lmao
having a type is not the same thing, the essence of fetishizing is objectifying a body type without the consent or consideration of the person who owns the body
e.g. “it would be a shame to waste those great tits of yours” is a fetishization because it’s only taking into account the viewer’s perspective, not the owner’s. a lot of trans men feel really dysphoric about having breasts and, quite frankly, it is only their business if they get top surgery or not. if they ask for your opinion, you can give it, but it should probably emphasize their happiness anyways because they’re the ones who have to live in their body, at the end of the day
basically, as long as you treat the person you’re seeing with respect and consideration for their happiness, you don’t really need to worry about it
ayyy it’s about time we got fetishized too (this is a sarcastic comment)
not that we should be equivocating meth and adhd meds in the adhd community 😭
but otherwise yea, very good point being made. i didn’t realize that was a criteria
yeah i feel you. i don’t think this would be better even if i were vegan (i’m not bc i think i would starve due to a number of dietary restrictions /allergies, but i cycle in the vegan food i can)
yeah and i posed both questions just to kind of allow for multiple possibilities because, y’know, i wasn’t really sure what was going on in your head
but otherwise, i dunno if you’re this comfortable with your dad, but if you are, maybe you could have a conversation about it. ask him if he knows about sex work and how workers in the porn industry are treated, ask if he’s considered looking for ethical pornography producers, maybe suggest some (?) LOL
i understand this isn’t a conversation everyone is necessarily comfortable having, but i think, if you can overcome the awkwardness, it’s worth it to kind of reaffirm your dad’s relationship with you and his shared values with you. fwiw i think a lot of people (men?) who are like, strongly feminist would be open to reconsidering this stuff and maybe just don’t necessarily have the tools or haven’t really had the idea to explicitly pursue more ethical porn. some of it is just accessibility, you know? like, everyone knows pornhub, but i can’t name an ethical porn studio offhand
that said, this inspired me to google it (i know, what an idea) and i found a couple of article recommendations as a starting point:
https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a36465164/ethical-porn/
https://sexualalpha.com/ethical-porn-sites/
and then, just for full disclosure, some of the things that prevented me from doing that before were:
notably, none of these are really about whether it’s a (morally) good idea or not, it’s a lot about the practicalities, but yknow not necessarily every feminist guy is on this page
i’m not gonna sit here and pretend these are the best reasons or anything, i’m not the best human being to ever live, but i try to do better than the day before, and i listed those reasons out honestly to hopefully help if you decide to have that conversation with… not even just your dad, but anyone
but you know, if you decide not too, obviously that’s totally fine and understandable LOL, i think this was still good to write up and talk about
i had to think on this a little bit, and knowing you’re a woman helped me see where you were coming from, i think
and i think you should reflect on what looking at porn says to you about a person. because there can be a lot of baggage attached and - at least for me, as a guy who likes porn - i’ve already had to come to terms with that stuff. but it’s hard to know if someone else has done that kind of inner reflective work about what most people treat as a throwaway hobby
it’s also kind of like, how comfortable are you with your own sexuality? are you asexual? how did your folks treat sex and sexuality growing up?
i don’t have any answers for you, and you certainly don’t need to answer any of these questions in a public forum on the internet. but hopefully they help you understand and resolve what’s troubling you
fwiw, my dad is super careless about it LMAO i found his porn bookmarks by accident as a kid. and nowadays his steam notifies me when he hops on hentai games 💀💀💀 but yknow what, good for him, hope he’s having a good time
it’s really cool having the correct hormones nowadays. funny how you don’t like your body much if you don’t
i’m really happy about looking my age / looking like an adult nowadays. and i’ve been going to the gym, so it’s been pretty cool putting on muscle and getting stronger and stuff
i guess it’s not AGING aging, but it’s stuff i def appreciate (i’m in my early thirties for context)