As someone who recently came out as well and has at least had a bit of time to work through this a bit, you’re gonna be okay.
This is something that, whether you realize it or not, weighs on you in an unimaginable way and unfortunately that crushing weight causes an immense, unending pain that can get directed towards others. A lot of us have those feelings, and while you can’t undo the things you’ve said, you can definitely make amends for it, and this is a great start.
You’re going to be reflecting a lot for the next few weeks I bet, and just make sure you’re not too hard on yourself. You’ve made an incredible step in accepting who you are as a person, and ruminating on past mistakes isn’t doing that. That person is gone. You’re obviously still “you”, but in accepting yourself now, that scared, suffering, angry person is no longer scared and suffering and angry.
If you can, therapy, or even just journaling can help immensely. Externalizing some of the thoughts you’re having by writing them down, at least for me, tends to calm things down a bit and keep them from constantly buzzing about your head.
Stay strong, and feel free to reach out. We’re here for you.
Well, if America is no longer a superpower, then Putin and all his oligarchs buddies are planning on sweeping up the spoils of its ruin for themselves.