People blame the crap dating scene in the West on, like, delusional people or dating apps but I think the reality is its a lot simpler and yet also much harder to fix:
People aren’t mixing enough because they don’t know how (guys and girls aren’t going to the right places to find one another, and if they are it isn’t often enough). There’s a lack of assurances. Basically, girls don’t have an assurance some guy won’t try to get in her pants if she gets too close, and men don’t have an assurance the girl won’t be a total bint.
All the other stuff (having families being expensive, social media warping people’s minds, etc.) is just an appendage to these central reasons.
And the only way to fix it is to make sweeping societal changes aimed at reconstructing former norms of things like modesty, abstinence, chivalry, etc. Obviously, these changes are downstream of policy and general demand, and you can only really act on the policy side of things but that’s just not feasible because it would mean things like regulating dating apps or clubs or sexual behavior and that’s just not feasible in the West.
So the only solution is to sit around, waiting until everyone gets fed up and rediscovers why we had the norms we did in the past. And then they can reject a lot of the modern slop and return to tradition in a genuine sense, not in this parody sense like we see with those idiot trad wives.
former norms of things like modesty, abstinence, chivalry, etc.
These are former norms in the whitewashed version of the past you believe in, but not in real life.
Of course the norms existed. That’s what 2nd and 3rd wave feminism, the roaring 20s and surrealism, the sexual revolution, erotica, and so many other developments were about: throwing off these norms. I’m not saying they were always adhered to, but clearly there were cultural norms that reinforced courting behaviors and made other types of behavior taboo. What I am saying is that we have sort of thrown the baby out with the bathwater.
You think dating would be easier with abstinence and modesty?
I think it would fix a lot of things, yes. Like, honestly men can’t be trusted to do the approaching because we’re so horny we just approach everyone or nobody at all, and girls can’t feel safe enough to mix with huge portions of the male dating base they miss out on if they are aiming to objectify themselves and encourage male lasciviousness. It just makes sense if men would keep it in their pants and women would keep their clothes on. I’m open to new perspectives though.