Some side-work I do has me dealing with people a bunch, and for as much as we all complain about each other, at least in brief moments my experiences with others have been okay, pleasant even.
Of course, despite that, I can’t shake the idiosyncratic impulse to avoid people much of the time, but regardless. As a bonus: most of those I’m encountering are total strangers to boot, so it’s not even a matter of familiarity.
Not much more of a point to this post than that, really. Thought we could use a little more upbeat stuff around here.
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I was explaining on a walk the other day that even if only 5% of people are complete assholes, that means around one to two would be blaring music in the middle of the night, setting off illegal fireworks during a drought, etc, out of all the other houses on the block. And yet, that disruption disproportionately impacts everyone else on the block and makes their lives ever so shittier.
It’s really hard to gauge humanity when it really only takes a few terrible people to ruin things for everyone else.
It’s really hard to gauge humanity when it really only takes a few terrible people to ruin things for everyone else.
Using that perspective to recognize the many other alright people I think might be a way for people to encourage one another and feel less wary of calling out bad actors. It’s a funny thing, but the same live and let live tendencies we appreciate from others at times seems to diminish the slight resolve necessary to push back against those negatively affecting many others.
Similarly, I think it’s beneficial to recognize the good as much as the bad, as otherwise we take the former for granted and can grow too jaded and overly cynical.
I try to practice that when I’m driving. It’s easy to road rage, but it’s kind of fun to say “we got this!” to the other people driving normally, using blinkers and being courteous, as we all work our way through traffic.
Most people are just like us, trying to make their way through the world. The number of people who are actually actively assholes is fairly small but they tend to have an outsized effect on our day when we encounter them.
There are a lot of good people out there though the few that ruin it for everyone else tend to be more noticeable.
100% agree. Also most IRL people I meet in casual situations are pretty alright. I have mostly nice neighbors, sometimes random people help out each other. And that also happens amongst strangers in the supermarket or on public transportation.
(Some people are stupid though. And/or inconsiderate. But I think that’s part of the game. Some people just can’t board a train properly or get off of it without bumping into 3 other people. 😉 But that shouldn’t make your day worse, they’re just a bit stupid.)
Thanks for posting something positive. And not just taking it for granted and only mentioning negative thoughts 😊
I wish I had that luck. I’ve managed to curate a lot of people I can tolerate, but trying to add to that is super hard. A random person I was introduced to managed to complain about immigrants three times in ten minutes to me in front of my POC partner. Another person I am stuck with occasionally breathing the same air with wanted to tell me all of Fox’s talking points on trans people and disagreeing with her was a hateful attack and proved I ALWAYS had a problem with her. It’s so much work to separate wheat from chaff that my search for good people is paused. Hopefully I’ll have the spoons to try more soon, but it’s so draining.
Most people irl are pretty ok. It’s only when they sit in the house, watch the news, and then get behind a keyboard that they become assholes.