Just as the ducks at the park are free, there is also no legal requirement to answer the phone in particular way. Hit folks with a, “Ahoyhoy”, “Howdy”, “Whats good brother?”, or for the more adventurous, “Ralphs Roadkill Cafe. You kill it, we grill it.”
My go to is “Yellow”
“Dave’s pizza and abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce” is a particularly spicy one I’ve heard.
“You rape em, we scrape em”
(I do not condone this message)
Ahoy, guys.
Be the change you want to see in this world, don’t let Thomas Edison continue to shit on everything from his grave.
Imagine Edison trying to patent the “hello” greeting to get royalties every time someone answered the phone.
Then the incel fanbois defending Edison, insisting he invented the term 'hello".Moshi Moshi
When I see a post like this, I see a new friend.
Fuck Edison you idea stealing cuck.
I heard he electrocuted an elephant.
Yeah because he wanted to make Teslas ac electricity look evil, but just made everyone there hate him.
So apparently the new shit spam evil calls can record the most minimal sample of your voice and then spoof it to your friends and family…
It almost seems worth saying nothing until ‘they’ say something, but then, what if they are a spoofed caller…
Oh shit. Just don’t use phones any more.
If you don’t recognize the number, answer in a funny accent. That’s how you defeat the voice harvesters.
ring ring Sombrero repair, como es?
ring ring [deep voice] Investigations.
ring ring HJECKIN?
ring ring [high pitched voice] OOIIO BO IMA SO GLAD YE RANG DOLLINGA
ring ring thinkyefurcullinpapajhonzzewoodyalacktatryourpapalopadoussoosageasperigusdoughdopoloostoday?
ring ring [monkey noises]
ring ring OOOOOHHHHHHHH COME ON EILEEN, I BEG OF YA PLEASE
ring ring [raspy voice] Jerome?
ring ring [dictation voice, right up against microphone] THANK YOU FOR FALLING KMART. PLEASE LET US KNOW WHAT YOU ARE CALLING ABOUT SO WE MAY DIRECT YOUR CALL
ring ring [moaning so intense it would make Sarah Grey blush]
ring ring WEAR MAH CHIL’ SUPPORT AT JEROME
ring ring [play Gilbert Garfield directly into microphone]
Then they just scam your friends family with you doing a funny voice.
my go-to when im forced to answer unknown callers is “who is this?”. then i disconnect if they dont answer my question
spoiler
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To me it sounds like OP’s opener is exactly for people who aren’t contacts saved in his phone. It sounds perfect to me
spoiler
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20 years ago, yes
These days, the only people who call me are creditors (who aren’t supposed to) and scammers
If you just add "hi’ to the beginning then it’s a perfect middle. “Hello, who is this?” Nothing is better than letting it go to voicemail, but sometimes you’re in a situation where you might be expecting a call from an unknown number
I answer with “Yes?”
It gets straight to the point
What if you end up in a verbal contract
Then say “yes?*”
*This is a question asking what you are calling for and does not create joinder.
Is this a sovcit thing?
Yup
Only if you speak it at a 45-degree angle in red. If you buy my audio book I’ll explain how to do this.
Edison was apparently quite successful, to the point where some languages other than English have a word that sounds like “hello” (for example, Russian “allo”) which is used only when answering the phone.
French as well I think
Yeah there’s a whole TV show about that from the 80s.
Yo bitch.
Funny thing: “Hello” was actually not a common greeting until that point.
I’ve always been curious how people greeted each other before “hello”. Did we just say “good day” and variations thereof?
Most English speakers actually used “wazzup” like those Budweiser commercials
Greetings, traveler.
Well met!
Have you ever heard of the high elves?
Are they the elves that say “hi”?
No, they are the elves that smoked all of your weed.
Fuck Edison.
Graham-bell isn’t better. He was super duper ableist and pressured Helen Keller to identify with her blindness instead of her deafness
